320+ Medieval Jokes 🏰😂 | Hilarious Jesters, Knights & Castle Puns For 2025

Step back in time to the Middle Ages, where castles, knights, and jesters ruled the land. While medieval life was full of battles and kingdoms, it also had plenty of humor.

Imagine a knight trying to tell a dad joke, or a jester punning about dragons at the king’s feast. That’s the vibe we’re going for here—funny, witty, and easy-to-share medieval jokes that will make you laugh like a royal court entertainer.

Let’s joust right into it! ⚔️🤣

Funny Medieval Jokes for Knights ⚔️👑

Why did the knight always carry a pencil? ✏️ Because he wanted to draw his sword!
What do you call a knight who’s afraid to fight? Sir Render.
Why was the knight’s belt always tired? Because it was worn out in the Middle Ages.
What’s a knight’s favorite fish? Swordfish. 🐟
Why did the knight always win arguments? He had armor-piercing points.
What do you call a knight who likes to sleep? Sir Doze-a-lot. 😴
Why don’t knights ever get lost? They always follow the knightlight.
What’s a knight’s favorite kind of math? Sword problems.
Why was the knight such a good musician? He played by ear… with a helmet! 🎶
What do you call a knight who tells jokes? Sir Laughs-a-lot. 😂
Why did the knight sit at the round table? He couldn’t find the square meal. 🍽️
How do knights communicate secretly? With knight codes.
Why was the knight’s armor so shiny? He used “Sir-f Wax.”
What do you call a knight who loves cooking? Sir Fry. 🍳
Why did the knight blush? Because the princess called him her shining armor.

Castle Jokes and Puns 🏰🤣

Why did the castle go to therapy? It had too many walls.
What’s a castle’s favorite game? Fort-night. 🎮
Why do castles always win hide and seek? Because they tower over everyone.
What’s a castle’s favorite snack? Moat-meal.
Why did the castle always tell jokes? It had a dry moat humor.
What did one castle say to the other? “You rock!” 🪨
Why don’t castles get lonely? They’re full of knights.
What’s a castle’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal gates. 🎵
Why was the castle so strong? It had a solid foundation of puns.
Why did the ghost love the castle? It had plenty of room to haunt. 👻
What’s a castle’s favorite workout? Wall sits.
Why don’t castles ever lie? They always keep it stone-cold honest.
What’s a castle’s favorite fruit? Fort-berries. 🍓
Why did the castle get promoted? It was outstanding in its field.
What’s a castle’s favorite pet? A moat-hound. 🐕

Medieval Jester Jokes 🤡😂

Why did the jester cross the road? To get to the punchline.
What do you call a jester who’s too serious? A joke-less fool.
Why did the king ban the jester? His jokes were too knightmarish.
How do jesters pay for things? With funny money.
Why was the jester always broke? Because laughter isn’t taxable.
What do jesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes. 🥞
Why did the jester bring a ladder? To reach high comedy.
What do you call a jester who plays guitar? A rock fool. 🎸
Why was the jester always popular? He was the life of the feudal party.
What’s a jester’s favorite workout? Laugh-ups.
Why did the jester write a book? To get his jokes knighted.
How do jesters tell time? With tickle-tocks. ⏰
What’s a jester’s favorite drink? Pun-apple juice.
Why did the jester like the round table? It was the perfect setup for his jokes.
What do you call a jester in armor? A pun-isher.

Medieval King and Queen Jokes 👑🤣

Why was the king always tired? Too many royal duties.
What’s a queen’s favorite game? Chess, because she always wins. ♟️
Why did the king go to art school? He wanted to rule with a brush. 🎨
Why did the queen hire a gardener? To take care of her royal pains. 🌹
Why don’t kings ever lose arguments? They always have the final decree.
What’s a queen’s favorite candy? Crownies. 🍫
Why did the king eat with his hands? Forks were knight unavailable.
Why was the queen always calm? She had a royal flush. ♠️
What’s a king’s favorite instrument? The trump-et. 🎺
Why was the king scared of the calendar? His days were numbered.
Why did the queen love jokes? They kept her throne warm.
What’s a king’s favorite subject in school? His-story.
Why did the king sit on a soft throne? He didn’t want to reign in pain.
What did the queen say to the lazy knight? “You’ve been dethroned.”
Why was the king so musical? He ruled in harmony. 🎶

Medieval Dragon Jokes 🐉🔥

Why don’t dragons like fast food? They can’t catch it.
What do dragons use to cut vegetables? Fire-knives. 🔥
Why was the dragon always happy? He had a burning passion.
What’s a dragon’s favorite fruit? Fire-apples. 🍎
Why did the dragon become a comedian? He loved roasting people.
What do dragons eat on a diet? Light snacks.
Why don’t dragons ever lie? They always spit fire.
What’s a dragon’s favorite sport? Flaming darts. 🎯
Why was the dragon bad at poker? He kept showing his tells… and tails.
What’s a dragon’s favorite hobby? BBQ. 🍖
Why don’t dragons get sick? They burn all germs.
What do you call a dragon with no teeth? A flame-thrower without a bite.
Why was the dragon good at school? He had a fiery mind.
What do dragons put on their toast? Fire-jam.
Why don’t dragons need phones? They already have hotlines. ☎️

Medieval Food and Feast Jokes 🍗🍻

Why did the knight eat quickly? He was in a feudal rush.
What’s a medieval feast without bread? Incomplete—knead I say more? 🍞
Why did the chicken attend the banquet? To be knighted.
What do you call royal soup? Crown chowder.
Why was the feast so loud? Too much table banging. 🍽️
What’s a jester’s favorite food? Silly-berry pie. 🥧
Why was the medieval cook so famous? His meals were legendary.
What did the turkey say at the feast? “Knight to eat you!” 🦃
What’s a king’s favorite drink? Crown-berry juice.
Why did the peasants love feasts? Free fork-lore.
What do you call a medieval sandwich? A chain-mail sub. 🥪
Why was the stew magical? It was cauldron-cooked.
What do you call a knight’s breakfast? Armor-omelet. 🍳
Why did the banquet have so much fun? It was a knight to remember.
What’s a queen’s favorite cake? Royal icing cake. 🎂

Medieval Battle Jokes 🛡️⚔️

Why did the knight bring a ruler? To measure his sword fight.
What’s a soldier’s favorite letter? G, for guard.
Why did the battle take place at night? Because it was knight time.
Why did the archer bring a pencil? To draw his bow. 🏹
Why don’t warriors ever play cards? Too many cheaters.
What’s a knight’s least favorite bug? Joust-mosquitoes.
Why did the army love jokes? To boost morale.
Why was the knight always confident? He had armor of self-esteem.
What’s a warrior’s favorite music? Heavy metal. 🎸
Why did the shield go to school? To be well-rounded.
What’s a knight’s favorite dance? Sword shuffle. 💃
Why was the soldier always clean? He used battle soap.
What do you call a nervous knight? Sir Trembles.
Why was the fight always fair? They had knight rules.
What’s a knight’s favorite drink? Armor-geddon ale. 🍺

Medieval Life and Peasant Jokes 🚜😂

Why did the peasant go to school? To improve his feudal skills.
What’s a medieval farmer’s favorite tool? The plow-er of power. 🌾
Why don’t peasants play chess? They don’t like being pawns.
Why did the cobbler get promoted? He was outstanding in his field… of shoes. 👞
What’s a peasant’s favorite fruit? Serf-berries. 🍓
Why was the peasant always happy? He had simple serf-pleasures.
What did the medieval farmer say to the cow? “Moove over, royalty’s coming.” 🐄
Why don’t peasants lie? They’re always grounded.
What’s a peasant’s favorite music? Folk-lore tunes. 🎶
Why did the peasant carry a lantern? To shed some serf-light. 🏮
Why did the medieval baker smile? Because business was on the rise. 🥖
What do you call a hardworking peasant? A serf-starter.
Why did the peasant write a book? For the common good. 📚
What’s a peasant’s favorite hobby? Knight-watching.
Why don’t peasants like drama? They prefer farm-ony.

Conclusion 🎉

From knights in shining armor to jesters cracking jokes, medieval humor proves that laughter truly is timeless. Whether you’re a king, queen, or just a humble peasant, these puns remind us that even in the toughest battles, there’s always room for a smile. Share these medieval jokes with your friends, and may your days be filled with laughter worthy of a royal feast! 🏰😂