Ever typed jokes about abortion into Google, hoping for a laugh that’s clever, not cruel? Maybe you’re curious about what’s trending or just need a quick giggle to lighten the mood.

Whatever brought you here, you’ve landed on the perfect page! We’ve scoured the web, tapped into what’s hot on tools like Ahrefs and Surfer, and crafted a collection of 175 short, creative, and lighthearted jokes that’ll tickle your funny bone without crossing the line

. Ready to dive into seven trending categories packed with humor? Let’s get laughing!

Trending Topic: Pregnancy Humor with a Twist

Pregnancy comes with surprises, and so do these jokes! Here’s a bundle of fun takes on the unexpected moments.

• Why did the baby bump throw a party? It wanted to celebrate before the big arrival!Copy
• My pregnancy test was so positive it started cheering for me!Copy
• Tried to nap while pregnant but the baby was practicing karate inside!Copy
• Pregnancy cravings are wild—last night I dreamed of pickles and ice cream tacos!Copy
• Why don’t pregnant moms play hide-and-seek? The bump always gives them away!Copy
• My baby’s already a comedian—kicking every time I try to relax!Copy
• Pregnancy brain made me forget my own name but not my snack schedule!Copy
• Why did the pregnant lady laugh? Her belly jiggled like a jelly bean dance!Copy
• Babies plan their entrance like a Broadway show—lots of drama!Copy
• I told my bump a joke and it kicked back a giggle!Copy
• Pregnancy’s like a Wi-Fi signal—just when you think you’re connected, it drops!Copy
• Why’s my belly so chatty? It’s got a little stand-up comic in there!Copy
• Cravings got me eating cereal with hot sauce—baby’s got bold taste!Copy
• My baby’s first word might be oof from all my waddling!Copy
• Pregnancy’s a marathon but I’m sprinting to the fridge!Copy
• Why’d the bump blush? It overheard me planning its nursery!Copy
• My baby’s already bossy—demanding snacks at midnight!Copy
• Pregnancy’s like a magic trick—poof, my waistline vanished!Copy
• Why don’t bumps need GPS? They’re always front and center!Copy
• I laughed so hard my belly did a somersault!Copy
• Baby’s got rhythm—my tummy’s a dance floor every night!Copy
• Pregnancy’s like a rom-com—sweet, funny, and a little messy!Copy
• Why’d my bump giggle? It loves my silly lullabies!Copy
• I’m growing a human and a sense of humor at the same time!Copy
• My baby’s already pranking me with surprise hiccups!Copy

Trending Topic: Baby Planning Banter

Thinking about the future? These jokes poke fun at the wild world of planning for a little one.

• Why’d I start a baby fund? Diapers cost more than my coffee addiction!Copy
• Planning for a baby’s like scheduling a tornado—good luck!Copy
• I bought a crib but my cat claimed it first!Copy
• Baby names are tricky—I’m torn between Luna and Pizza!Copy
• Why’d I read parenting books? To prepare for the chaos I can’t predict!Copy
• My baby plan’s simple—snacks, naps, and hoping for the best!Copy
• Tried picking a nursery color but got lost in 50 shades of pastel!Copy
• Why’s baby planning so fun? It’s like dreaming with a deadline!Copy
• I’m saving for college but my baby’s eyeing my candy stash!Copy
• Planning’s like a puzzle—every piece is shaped like a question mark!Copy
• Why’d I buy baby shoes? They’re cuter than my sneakers!Copy
• My baby plan’s got one rule—expect the unexpected!Copy
• I’m practicing lullabies but my dog’s the only fan so far!Copy
• Why’s my planner full? Baby’s got a busier social life than me!Copy
• I tried budgeting for a baby but got distracted by tiny socks!Copy
• Planning’s like a game show—spin the wheel and hope for sleep!Copy
• Why’d I pick a stroller? It’s got better wheels than my car!Copy
• My baby name list is longer than my grocery list!Copy
• I’m prepping for a baby but my plants are staging a revolt!Copy
• Why’s planning so wild? Every choice feels like a plot twist!Copy
• I’m reading baby books but skipping to the funny parts!Copy
• My nursery’s half-done—guess I’m raising a minimalist!Copy
• Why’d I join a parenting class? To learn the art of winging it!Copy
• Baby planning’s like a recipe—stir in love and pray it rises!Copy
• I’m dreaming of a baby but my couch is begging for a break!Copy

Trending Topic: Expecting and Giggling

For those awaiting a bundle of joy, these jokes keep the vibe light and the laughs flowing.

• Why’s expecting so funny? My belly’s got its own comedy routine!Copy
• I told my baby a secret and it kicked in agreement!Copy
• Expecting’s like hosting a VIP who never RSVP’d!Copy
• My bump’s so big it’s got its own fan club!Copy
• Why’d I laugh today? Baby’s practicing for the giggle olympics!Copy
• I’m expecting a baby and a lifetime supply of coffee!Copy
• My belly’s a stage and baby’s the star performer!Copy
• Why’s my bump so proud? It’s growing a future comedian!Copy
• Expecting’s like a sitcom—every day’s a new episode!Copy
• I tried yoga but my baby turned it into a kickboxing class!Copy
• Why’d I smile? My bump’s throwing a one-kid party!Copy
• I’m expecting joy and maybe a few midnight snack runs!Copy
• My baby’s already a food critic—loves my pizza nights!Copy
• Why’s expecting so sweet? Every kick feels like a high-five!Copy
• I laughed and my belly wobbled like a happy jelly!Copy
• Expecting’s like a treasure hunt—clues pop up daily!Copy
• Why’d my baby kick? It heard me planning a nap!Copy
• My bump’s stealing the spotlight at every family dinner!Copy
• I’m expecting cuddles and a crash course in chaos!Copy
• Why’s my belly so active? Baby’s rehearsing for the circus!Copy
• Expecting’s like a magic show—surprises around every corner!Copy
• I giggled and my baby answered with a somersault!Copy
• Why’d I buy onesies? To dress my future prankster!Copy
• My baby’s already got jokes—hiccups at 2 a.m.!Copy
• Expecting’s a wild ride but I’m buckled in for fun!Copy

Trending Topic: New Parent Chuckles

New to the parenting game? These jokes capture the hilarious highs and lows of rookie life.

• Why’d I become a parent? To master the art of diaper dodgeball!Copy
• New parent life—my coffee’s cold but my heart’s warm!Copy
• I sang a lullaby and my baby gave me a standing ovation!Copy
• Why’s my house messy? My baby’s an interior designer!Copy
• Parenting’s like a talent show—I’m juggling and hoping for applause!Copy
• I tried sleeping but my baby’s got a PhD in partying!Copy
• Why’d I buy a baby monitor? To hear my kid’s DJ skills!Copy
• New parents don’t nap—we dream with our eyes open!Copy
• My baby’s smile makes every 3 a.m. wake-up worth it!Copy
• Why’s parenting so wild? Every day’s a plot twist!Copy
• I changed a diaper and felt like a superhero!Copy
• My baby’s first word was probably yum—loves snack time!Copy
• Why’d I laugh today? My kid turned my keys into a toy!Copy
• Parenting’s like a comedy club—my baby’s the headliner!Copy
• I tried cooking but my baby requested cuddles instead!Copy
• Why’s my laundry pile huge? My kid’s a fashion critic!Copy
• New parent tip—sneak snacks while the baby naps!Copy
• My baby’s giggle is my new favorite song!Copy
• Why’d I join parenthood? To unlock expert-level multitasking!Copy
• I planned a quiet night but my baby had other ideas!Copy
• Parenting’s like a game—my kid keeps changing the rules!Copy
• Why’s my baby so cute? It’s a trap for more hugs!Copy
• I’m a new parent but my dog’s still the chillest kid!Copy
• My baby’s teaching me patience and how to love louder!Copy
• Why’d I smile? My kid’s tiny socks make my heart huge!Copy

Trending Topic: Family Planning Funnies

Family planning’s full of surprises—here are jokes to keep the journey light and bright.

• Why’d I plan a family? To build my own comedy troupe!Copy
• Family planning’s like a recipe—mix love and a dash of chaos!Copy
• I picked a baby name but my dog vetoed it!Copy
• Why’s planning so fun? Every choice feels like a treasure hunt!Copy
• I’m dreaming of a family and a fridge full of snacks!Copy
• Family planning’s like a movie—spoiler, it’s unpredictable!Copy
• Why’d I buy a minivan? To haul my future superstars!Copy
• I’m planning a family but my couch is staging a protest!Copy
• Why’s my planner full? My future kid’s already booking gigs!Copy
• Family planning’s like a game—I’m guessing the rules!Copy
• I tried budgeting but got lost in cute baby hats!Copy
• Why’d I read parenting blogs? To laugh at the wild ride ahead!Copy
• My family plan’s simple—love big and nap when possible!Copy
• Why’s planning so sweet? It’s like writing a love story!Copy
• I’m dreaming of kids and a backyard full of giggles!Copy
• Family planning’s like a puzzle—I’m finding the fun pieces!Copy
• Why’d I pick a nursery theme? To spark my kid’s imagination!Copy
• I’m planning a family and practicing my silly faces!Copy
• Why’s my heart racing? I’m excited for the chaos to come!Copy
• Family planning’s like a song—every note’s a new adventure!Copy
• I tried organizing but baby shoes stole my focus!Copy
• Why’d I smile today? I’m planning a house full of joy!Copy
• My family plan’s got one goal—make every day a party!Copy
• Why’s planning so wild? It’s a rollercoaster of happy twists!Copy
• I’m ready for a family and a lifetime of belly laughs!Copy

Trending Topic: Baby Bump Giggles

Celebrating that growing belly? These jokes are all about the joy of the bump life.

• Why’s my bump so famous? It’s stealing selfies everywhere!Copy
• My belly’s so round it’s auditioning for a planet role!Copy
• Bump life’s like a comedy show—kicks are the punchlines!Copy
• Why’d my bump wiggle? It heard me mention ice cream!Copy
• I tried dancing but my belly led the way!Copy
• My bump’s got swagger—strutting like a superstar!Copy
• Why’s my belly so chatty? It’s got stories to tell!Copy
• Bump life’s like a sitcom—every kick’s a cliffhanger!Copy
• I laughed and my belly threw a mini party!Copy
• Why’d my bump blush? It loves my goofy songs!Copy
• My belly’s a drum and baby’s the rockstar!Copy
• Bump life’s sweet—every wiggle feels like a hug!Copy
• Why’s my bump so proud? It’s growing a tiny comedian!Copy
• I tried napping but my belly’s hosting a dance-off!Copy
• My bump’s the MVP of every family photo!Copy
• Why’d I giggle? My belly’s practicing for the chuckle champs!Copy
• Bump life’s like a game—my baby’s winning at surprises!Copy
• My belly’s so big it’s got its own zip code!Copy
• Why’s my bump so active? It’s training for the baby olympics!Copy
• I smiled and my belly answered with a happy kick!Copy
• Bump life’s like a story—every day’s a new chapter!Copy
• Why’d my bump laugh? It loves my snack choices!Copy
• My belly’s a stage for my baby’s big debut!Copy
• Why’s bump life so fun? It’s a daily dose of joy!Copy
• I’m rocking this bump like a fashion icon!Copy

Trending Topic: Future Mom Musings

For moms-to-be dreaming of the adventure ahead, these jokes keep it playful and fun.

• Why’m I a future mom? To lead the world’s silliest cheer squad!Copy
• I’m dreaming of motherhood and mastering snack negotiations!Copy
• Future mom life—practicing lullabies on my cat first!Copy
• Why’s my heart full? I’m planning a lifetime of giggles!Copy
• I tried picking a baby name but got stuck on cupcake!Copy
• Future mom tip—stock up on coffee and cuddles!Copy
• Why’d I laugh today? I’m excited for tiny high-fives!Copy
• I’m a future mom but my plants are my practice kids!Copy
• Motherhood’s like a comedy—my kid’ll write the script!Copy
• Why’s my planner pink? I’m dreaming of baby bows!Copy
• I’m prepping for motherhood with extra doses of love!Copy
• Future mom life—my dog’s already jealous of the crib!Copy
• Why’d I buy onesies? To dress my future giggle monster!Copy
• I’m a future mom and my heart’s growing faster than my bump!Copy
• Motherhood’s like a song—I’m learning the happy tune!Copy
• Why’s my smile huge? I’m ready for baby snuggles!Copy
• I tried parenting books but laughed at the funny bits!Copy
• Future mom life—my fridge is ready for midnight raids!Copy
• Why’m I excited? I’m building a team of tiny pranksters!Copy
• I’m a future mom dreaming of playground adventures!Copy
• Motherhood’s like a game—I’m leveling up with joy!Copy
• Why’d I giggle? I’m picturing my kid’s first joke!Copy
• I’m prepping for motherhood with a side of silly dances!Copy
• Future mom life—my baby’s already got me wrapped!Copy
• Why’s motherhood calling? It’s promising a lifetime of laughs!Copy

short abortion jokes

• I told my computer I needed a break… now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads. 🖥️✈️Copy
• Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet. 📏Copy
• I tried to catch fog yesterday… I mist. 🌫️Copy
• Why don’t skeletons ever fight? They don’t have the guts. 💀Copy
• My bed and I are perfect for each other… but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. ⏰Copy
• I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia… she whispered, “They’re right behind you.” 👀Copy
• Time flies like an arrow… fruit flies like a banana. 🍌Copy
• I’m great at multitasking — I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. 😅Copy
• Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded? Because people are dying to get in. ⚰️Copy
• I used to play piano by ear… now I use my hands. 🎹Copy
• I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t do Tuesdays.” 😂Copy
• Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. 🚀Copy
• I broke my finger last week… on the other hand, I’m okay. 🖐️Copy
• Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out. 💔🏋️Copy
• I would tell you a construction joke… but I’m still working on it. 🚧Copy

Dirty but Safe Jokes 🤭😂

• Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish. 🦪Copy
• I like my coffee like I like my mornings… dark, hot, and keeping me up all day. ☕🔥Copy
• They say size doesn’t matter… but try telling that to a guy with a tiny Wi-Fi signal. 📶Copy
• Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t find a date. 🍌Copy
• Condoms should be called balloons for adults — they stop accidents and ruin the fun. 🎈Copy
• Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the magazine. 📰Copy
• My girlfriend said I should do lunges to stay in shape… that would be a big step forward. 🏋️Copy
• Life without women would be a pain… in the hand. 🤚Copy
• Why did the toothbrush cross the road? To get to the other plaque. 😏Copy
• They say don’t kiss and tell… but that’s what group chats are for. 📱Copy
• Love is like a fart — if you force it, it’s probably crap. 💨Copy
• My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home. 🏠Copy
• Why did the cucumber blush? Because it saw the salad dressing. 🥒Copy
• If you’re cold, stand in a corner — they’re usually around 90 degrees. 🔥Copy
• Why did the mattress break up with the blanket? Too much one-night stands. 🛏️Copy
• Dark but Safe One-Liners ⚡🤣Copy

1. Why don’t graveyards ever get full? People are dying to get in. ⚰️Copy
2. My wallet is like an onion… opening it makes me cry. 💸Copy
3. I told my therapist about my split personality… we’re doing fine now. 🧠Copy
4. Ghosts are terrible liars… you can see right through them. 👻Copy
5. I started telling people about my plans to live forever… so far, so good. ⏳Copy
6. The early bird gets the worm… but the second mouse gets the cheese. 🧀Copy
7. My math teacher called me average… how mean! 📐Copy
8. I asked the undertaker for a discount… he said over his dead body. ⚰️Copy
9. I tried to write a book on reverse psychology… but don’t buy it. 📖Copy
10. The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran. 🌶️Copy
11. I used to think I was indecisive… now I’m not so sure. 🤔Copy
12. My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home. 🏠Copy
13. Some people say my jokes are lazy… but hey, they work lying down. 😴Copy
14. The inventor of autocorrect should burn in hello. 🔥Copy
15. My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships. 📱💔Copy

FAQS

❓ What can I say instead of abortion?

You can say termination of pregnancy or pregnancy decision.

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❓ What is a quote about abortion?

“No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body.” – Margaret Sanger

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❓ What to talk about abortion?

You can discuss it from a medical, legal, ethical, or social perspective.

Wrap-Up: Share the Laughter!

Wow, wasn’t that a riot? From bump giggles to future mom musings, we’ve covered the funniest corners of pregnancy and planning with 175 lighthearted jokes! I hope these gave you a hearty chuckle and maybe a few to share with friends. Got a favorite? Drop it in the comments or pass it along to someone who needs a smile. Keep spreading joy, and come back for more laughs anytime!